OK, I just sent my friend an email. She reads my blog and is probably wondering if I've lost it. So, here's two things that I have to repeat from my email. Instead of cussing (or the appearance of trying NOT to cuss) we have a running joke whichever student makes us the craziest we insert the last name instead of F**K or S**T-H**D or use your imagination. Well I just used the last name of an old co-worker and it sounded really filthy IN MY mind. I said I think my B-day is about to get Sauceda'd...and instead of a cuss word...made me think of dirty Sanchez. I just negated the point of using some one's last name instead of a cuss word. I wonder if this applies to all Spanish surnames or just the ones that start with...S?
I forgot to mention in my LAST blog entry that my crazy Aunt is coming to town. She's got a good heart and she's been really sick, so let me say when I talk crap about her that I'm just ensuring my one-way ticket to hell in a hand basket. BUT, the woman would drive a southern Baptist to drink. Yes, I'm reading another Charlaine Harris -Aurora Teagarden southern style mystery and I love all the Georgia references. She even defines how to define a "nice" southern woman. One question - do friends from Missouri count as southern ? I'll have to ask Coil. VERY funny author...okay, now that I am off topic with my A.D.D.-- the woman is coming to town and my husband made plans to meet up with her when? Oh, that's right this WEEKEND...shoot me. For his B-day next year, I need to re-read this blog and remind myself when he's not getting anything. No, I've decided it'll be fine, but when we go out to dinner I'm ordering the Porter House...just watch me.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
So I think I figured out what's wrong with me
I've been feeling annoyed for the past few days. I've decided it could be that my husband is an ass. For a while I wondered if it was because my birthday is coming up...but that started me thinking about my birthday, and how if he screws up my B-day like he did Mother's Day...Let's just say revenge is a woman's game and hell hath no fury etc.
Anyway, maybe I'm annoyed at my husband or maybe it's because it's my birthday and I am a pessimist thinking he's GOING to screw it up. Or maybe I've been married 12 years, and maybe we're at the point of needing to do a tune-up on our marriage. I know I can't change him...after 12 years...what's to change anyway. Maybe I need some changes...like maybe I need to move the furniture around or paint the walls a new color...metaphorically speaking.
Anyway, maybe I'm annoyed at my husband or maybe it's because it's my birthday and I am a pessimist thinking he's GOING to screw it up. Or maybe I've been married 12 years, and maybe we're at the point of needing to do a tune-up on our marriage. I know I can't change him...after 12 years...what's to change anyway. Maybe I need some changes...like maybe I need to move the furniture around or paint the walls a new color...metaphorically speaking.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Facing yourself, Facebook and the law of unintended consequences
So, I signed up for a twitter account and a facebook account. I kept hearing my radio friends talk about their facebook blah blah blahs. I had NO idea what I was missing. That stuff is like crack - well at times it can be like crack. I like seeing my friends and people I used to work with etc. I even enjoyed telling some dumb ass that I didn't like his lame jokes and I wasn't going to follow him anymore, and I promptly blocked his twitters. That was very empowering for some stupid reason. I even got a twitter back from a reporter that works for ABC, and it was pathetic how cool the guy is in my book for answering a question from little 'ol me.
I also have voice on facebook. I can make my sarcastic or pithy little comments and in a few hours when other people have posted their stuff, my comments are already in the past unlikely to be read by too many people. You can read posts, or skip them or click on the links or just go straight to your garden to check on how your pink dahlia is coming along today or see if you can harvest some chestnuts. it's almost zen to listen to the music from Ratatouille play over and over.
Anyway, one of the unintended consequences that smacked me the other day was that I accepted a new friend in facebook. The gal was really nice in high school - prom queen and all that jazz. When she and I became friends I got another request from another girl from high school. Again another nice girl, but this time I started looking at their list of friends and I started recognizing all of these people from h.s.
It wasn't a good feeling at all.
I realized that some of the people stayed in my hometown. Some moved on to other cities - countries. Our valedictorian is listed as living in Germany...what the hell? I assume she became an opera singer. I remember her saying that she was arguing with her parents. They wanted her to become a doctor and she want to be an opera singer...odd memory...but I don't know...for all I know she became a doctor in Germany with the German Opera...so the next consequence I realized is that I don't know these people.
I didn't go to my 10 year reunion. I was getting married that month. I waited 10 years to get married. hell i didn't have Bryan for another 6 years after that. I must be a late bloomer...anyway, I didn't hear or see anything for a 20 year reunion. So, I was bothered by the fact that I started looking at the friends these two girls had and for some reason I was sad.
Part of me never wanted to go back to that little town and think about those people. Part of me was curious to see why the Valedictorian lives in Germany. Most of all, I didn't realize I didn't care if those people know anything about me or my life. I knew I was never going to be one of those people that believe my best years were my high school days...it was the same way that I knew that I wouldn't care a whole helluva lot about getting older. I have friends that took turning 30 hard. I don't want to be there for their 40th!
Anyway, I was sad because I thought once I moved away from that small town, that I wouldn't care if my life measured up to theirs...and yet, the minute I accepted a new friend who was really an old acquaintance...guess what I did...I started comparing where they live now to where I ended up.I realized that's why I had to leave that little town. I still don't have the esteem to measure my happiness by my own yardstick, but I immediately resort to the lame ass insecure girl that moved away some 20+ years ago.
You can never go home again? Is that the saying?
I decided a long time ago that I like being sarcastic. I'm not the girl in the notebook that my friends wrote about all those years ago as being the selfish insecure girl they thought I was. I did say they were my friends right? ugh, pathetic. Why would I keep that memory? Maye I was insecure to enjoy most of it.
I guess my life has been a series of start overs. I started over after my sophomore year in college. My working career started over after I left radio. My life started over in some ways when I married David, and again when I had Bryan. I don't know if start over is the word that I should be using. Maybe it's merely a next phase kind of thing. Like I'm pulling out of this shell to move on to the next one.
One unintended consequence of my life...I met this girl when I was taking classes at the UofP for my masters in secondary ed. The girl was was from the San Luis Valley and she had dated a guy that I knew in college. He had dated a college friend of mine. It was all very dramatic for my girlfriend at the time. But hearing about those events from Trina's point of view was funny and weird. It's like you get to see the world from another perspective, which in the long doesn't mean much, but it's odd knowing that there is more than one truth out there.
I don't really have a conclusion for my stories, but I guess it's a mindless wandering tonight and I wanted to share some of these thoughts before I have to go face swimming lessons for a 6 year old and try and convince him that he has to stick his head in the water if he's ever going to learn to swim.
finally, I guess tonight I realize that I may have more than one truth about myself.
I also have voice on facebook. I can make my sarcastic or pithy little comments and in a few hours when other people have posted their stuff, my comments are already in the past unlikely to be read by too many people. You can read posts, or skip them or click on the links or just go straight to your garden to check on how your pink dahlia is coming along today or see if you can harvest some chestnuts. it's almost zen to listen to the music from Ratatouille play over and over.
Anyway, one of the unintended consequences that smacked me the other day was that I accepted a new friend in facebook. The gal was really nice in high school - prom queen and all that jazz. When she and I became friends I got another request from another girl from high school. Again another nice girl, but this time I started looking at their list of friends and I started recognizing all of these people from h.s.
It wasn't a good feeling at all.
I realized that some of the people stayed in my hometown. Some moved on to other cities - countries. Our valedictorian is listed as living in Germany...what the hell? I assume she became an opera singer. I remember her saying that she was arguing with her parents. They wanted her to become a doctor and she want to be an opera singer...odd memory...but I don't know...for all I know she became a doctor in Germany with the German Opera...so the next consequence I realized is that I don't know these people.
I didn't go to my 10 year reunion. I was getting married that month. I waited 10 years to get married. hell i didn't have Bryan for another 6 years after that. I must be a late bloomer...anyway, I didn't hear or see anything for a 20 year reunion. So, I was bothered by the fact that I started looking at the friends these two girls had and for some reason I was sad.
Part of me never wanted to go back to that little town and think about those people. Part of me was curious to see why the Valedictorian lives in Germany. Most of all, I didn't realize I didn't care if those people know anything about me or my life. I knew I was never going to be one of those people that believe my best years were my high school days...it was the same way that I knew that I wouldn't care a whole helluva lot about getting older. I have friends that took turning 30 hard. I don't want to be there for their 40th!
Anyway, I was sad because I thought once I moved away from that small town, that I wouldn't care if my life measured up to theirs...and yet, the minute I accepted a new friend who was really an old acquaintance...guess what I did...I started comparing where they live now to where I ended up.I realized that's why I had to leave that little town. I still don't have the esteem to measure my happiness by my own yardstick, but I immediately resort to the lame ass insecure girl that moved away some 20+ years ago.
You can never go home again? Is that the saying?
I decided a long time ago that I like being sarcastic. I'm not the girl in the notebook that my friends wrote about all those years ago as being the selfish insecure girl they thought I was. I did say they were my friends right? ugh, pathetic. Why would I keep that memory? Maye I was insecure to enjoy most of it.
I guess my life has been a series of start overs. I started over after my sophomore year in college. My working career started over after I left radio. My life started over in some ways when I married David, and again when I had Bryan. I don't know if start over is the word that I should be using. Maybe it's merely a next phase kind of thing. Like I'm pulling out of this shell to move on to the next one.
One unintended consequence of my life...I met this girl when I was taking classes at the UofP for my masters in secondary ed. The girl was was from the San Luis Valley and she had dated a guy that I knew in college. He had dated a college friend of mine. It was all very dramatic for my girlfriend at the time. But hearing about those events from Trina's point of view was funny and weird. It's like you get to see the world from another perspective, which in the long doesn't mean much, but it's odd knowing that there is more than one truth out there.
I don't really have a conclusion for my stories, but I guess it's a mindless wandering tonight and I wanted to share some of these thoughts before I have to go face swimming lessons for a 6 year old and try and convince him that he has to stick his head in the water if he's ever going to learn to swim.
finally, I guess tonight I realize that I may have more than one truth about myself.
Catching up on some summer reading
I was reading my EW last night and I realized that I haven't read much this summer. I usually look for stuff that's recommended in EW, but nothing caught my eye.
I was at Border's early this summer with Ms. Coil and I didn't find anything...Well, I saw some books. I couldn't pick them up much less buy any in front of Coil, because I don't think I could handle the reproachful eye she might give me. There are only so many trashy novels you can admit to reading before the cat is out of the bag and everyone realizes that you are nothing more than a hick-town girl listening to Paula Abdul and Madonna when everyone around you is listening to Bauhaus, Dead Milkmen or Scritti Polliti. sorry bad flashback to my first year at the college radio station. I remember the first time I saw a water bong at the station mgr's house...that he shared with what appeared to be 50 other people.
I also remember the first time I met Mary Moses...who will always remain to me the coolest chick EVER! Wow, I don't know where that came from, but anyway...I'm trying to catch up now with the summer reading.
I took Bryan to his swimming lesson. The kid will NOT stick his head in the water. What can I tell him...his mother hates to do it too. I can't criticize him for doing something that is pretty uncomfortable and not a lot of fun.
So, I'm trying to read books that I said I would read. Books that I told myself to read. So far, I keep looking for new books from author's that I've already read.
I have like 20 books on hold at the library. I don't know if I'll read them. I figure take them and try them out. I wish the library was like amazon.com. If you read this...you would like this. Get these 2 books together and read them back to back. Borders knows how to get me to try new stuff just put it next to something that they know you'll like. Harry Potter next to this...Jane Austen next to that...
My mom wants me to read 3 stories (one was unfinished) by Jane Austen. I'm trying to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I don't like it so far...but I'm trying.
I had all these plans for summer and after summer school, and so far I'm not getting much done. I say I don't know if I am going to teach summer school next year, but you know what, I don't know what else I would do with my time. It would be like these last 2 weeks. I know I should be doing something, but in the end nothing is motivating me to get it done. I don't know...maybe it was the displays.
I was at Border's early this summer with Ms. Coil and I didn't find anything...Well, I saw some books. I couldn't pick them up much less buy any in front of Coil, because I don't think I could handle the reproachful eye she might give me. There are only so many trashy novels you can admit to reading before the cat is out of the bag and everyone realizes that you are nothing more than a hick-town girl listening to Paula Abdul and Madonna when everyone around you is listening to Bauhaus, Dead Milkmen or Scritti Polliti. sorry bad flashback to my first year at the college radio station. I remember the first time I saw a water bong at the station mgr's house...that he shared with what appeared to be 50 other people.
I also remember the first time I met Mary Moses...who will always remain to me the coolest chick EVER! Wow, I don't know where that came from, but anyway...I'm trying to catch up now with the summer reading.
I took Bryan to his swimming lesson. The kid will NOT stick his head in the water. What can I tell him...his mother hates to do it too. I can't criticize him for doing something that is pretty uncomfortable and not a lot of fun.
So, I'm trying to read books that I said I would read. Books that I told myself to read. So far, I keep looking for new books from author's that I've already read.
I have like 20 books on hold at the library. I don't know if I'll read them. I figure take them and try them out. I wish the library was like amazon.com. If you read this...you would like this. Get these 2 books together and read them back to back. Borders knows how to get me to try new stuff just put it next to something that they know you'll like. Harry Potter next to this...Jane Austen next to that...
My mom wants me to read 3 stories (one was unfinished) by Jane Austen. I'm trying to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I don't like it so far...but I'm trying.
I had all these plans for summer and after summer school, and so far I'm not getting much done. I say I don't know if I am going to teach summer school next year, but you know what, I don't know what else I would do with my time. It would be like these last 2 weeks. I know I should be doing something, but in the end nothing is motivating me to get it done. I don't know...maybe it was the displays.
Friday, July 24, 2009
It's gonna be a hot one today
Spent the day at my parent's yesterday, and at about 2pm I realized that I was sitting and sweating. That is the worst feeling...knowing that you're not doing anything and you're still freak in' hot. Today, we're going to enjoy the summer in a pool of water! Yay. Maybe that'll cool me off from yesterday. I'm going to try and load pictures because yesterday my mother got new reasons to harass me into having another kid. My parents have these life long friends who happen to have a daughter about my age. We met Kaylee- a 15 month old which Punky had when she was 40...what will my age be on Sunday...oh that's right 40! Hey, I wanted a little girl, but, now I'm turning 40 and it's scary as hell...anyway, let's see if I can figure out loading photos.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
New Blog
I don't know who I am kidding, but I'm starting my blog. It started when I responded to Jenn's blog and then the continue arrow button kind of pushed me in this direction. I don't blame Jennifer, but I don't know that I'm going to be very good about regularly updating this thing. Old content gets old quick...so we'll see if this a soup du jour or if I can use this to get some of these meandering thoughts out before it leaves me. We'll see...
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