So, I got this recommendation about a website for students/adults to get recommendations for books. It's like Borders built a site all about you...goodreads.com. I need to navigate it before I totally get it. Plus, I haven't listed all of my books. I better not get some crappy recommendations just because I went through that darn Stephen King phase. Anywho...
My sister in law is coming tomorrow. I want to tell David that his sister is a scam artist and she's shaking him down for money. I want to tell him to tell her to get the hell off my lawn and don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out. I want to tell him a lot of things...but I won't. I want him to recognize that my family through ugly times and good times - they love our children more than they love me :). They will always help us out in ANY form the can. That my parents are going to need us when hit advanced ages. I want David to realize that we do for each other because they do for us. It'll never be about
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Father's Day and more unexpected news
So, I logged into work email and found out three of our four students passed the GED and to be fair one girl was taken out of GED because was removed from pod and put on a pod that didn't allow her to attend my class. She said she was struggling with math and that's the subject she failed. It was a consequence of her decisions and actions that resulted in her removal, but I feel for the kid. I seriously doubt, however, that a few months in my class can take a student with 4th grade math skills to passing the GED...it's a WHOLE lot of info to cover in a short amount of time and a person doesn't just pick it up. It's like this class is a refresher. You may have learned it in the 8th or 9Th grade and you've forgotten it but you knew it at one point.
Anyway, I've decided that the minute Bryan and Christopher start arguing they are going to be banned from playing together. Today, Bryan started to throw a pouting fit and I yanked him up by his shirt collar and yelled at him. Scared the hell out of him and me too. I HATE when I get mad at Bryan like that. It's not good for him and it just makes me feel bad. I think I'm PMSing and yes, I think some months are worse than others and yes, it makes me angry.
It doesn't help that I found out today that David's sister WON'T be back for at least two more weeks. She said that her ex took the baby and won't give her back. My first question is Why did he have the baby in the first place? When she got the baby back after the last court deal - the baby's throat was so infected the baby could hardly swallow and had to get her medicine etc. WHAT in the hell is she doing letting him take the baby for a few days before she leaves? I won't say this to David, BUT I WILL BET ANYTHING that she wanted to take a few days to go party and say good-bye to all of her friends and then she couldn't find the loser SOB of a dad and then she was in a tough spot OR she wasn't ready to come back so quick so she told him to take her for however many days and it wasn't when she was due to leave so she makes up the story to cover her arse.
When she called David, she was acting all put out like nobody is willing to help her. David was like WTH are you talking about? Jacob is paying for you to fly back and forth for your kid to deal with a custody issue that SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEALT WITH BEFORE YOU LEFT...but ya didn't so he's now paying $400 to fly you back and David's Aunt is bending over backwards to help her reschedule her flight. All of these people are trying to help and she's mad because she's not getting what SHE WANTS. whatever! She was mad because her boyfriend hadn't reloaded a pre-paid debit card for her to use while she was out in CA but instead sent the money to his mom's house where she's out there. David pointed out that she didn't have an address to mail the money to and that's where she currently is and the poor guy was in the process of setting up direct deposit with this company and took a few days. He LITERALLY just started working with this company. She's mad because her mom doesn't have money to give her or won't give her. Another aunt of hers told her that she wouldn't give her money because she disagreed with her lifestyle. Oh, but you have to know that D's sister called one of their aunts and asked her for money from her will because at their grandmother's funeral the aunt mentioned that she wanted to leave some money to her. So D's sister calls the aunt to tell her that she's in the processing of moving to CO and wanted to see if she would give her the money now that the aunt mentioned leaving to her. When the aunt told her no, D's sister started to argue with her about it. David was like...it's her money...you don't have a right to ask her for it.
I feel like I'm talking about a drug addict. When I try to describe her to my parents, I don't know HOW to explain her b.s. and you have to know that it's all b.s. It's like this selfishness. David wants to help her, but he really doesn't want that crud in our life. He's freaking out. I told David that it's his turn to lose it...I'm calm. What his sister doesn't realize is that if she thinks she's going to come and live off of us she's totally high. If she stays here longer than a week, I'm going to introduce her to Carl Arnold. She hasn't met my family. They will get you employment...my mother and father are the king and queen of nags and helpers. If you're around them for any length of time...oh, you're in for it. You will be going to school and working before you know it. About two blocks from our house is Del Taco, Wal-Mart, Taco Bell and across Powers is Wendy's. I don't care if she has to work three jobs to make it full-time, but she has no excuse about not working. Every time I pull up to Wendy's or Del Taco...there's a new Now Hiring sign. I know the economy sucks, but there's work - even if it's flipping burgers she can get off her ass and go to to work. There's a day care right off of galley that stays open until 6pm and you can get discounts for day care if you're on welfare etc...and you know his sister is on welfare so guess what...between my parents, me and the day care center she'll have PLENTY of babysitters available...so no excuses little girl...get off yer arse and find an f'n job. Plus, she has a vehicle. It sucks, but it runs. Anyway, I'm hoping she leaves soon after arrival, but she was already opening the door about how people keep saying she should just stay with her brother, but she doesn't want to screw that up. David said, he's not saying one word to her. He doesn't want her to think that there's an opening for her to move in.
Ugh, I'm done...two more weeks. We'll see.
Anyway, I've decided that the minute Bryan and Christopher start arguing they are going to be banned from playing together. Today, Bryan started to throw a pouting fit and I yanked him up by his shirt collar and yelled at him. Scared the hell out of him and me too. I HATE when I get mad at Bryan like that. It's not good for him and it just makes me feel bad. I think I'm PMSing and yes, I think some months are worse than others and yes, it makes me angry.
It doesn't help that I found out today that David's sister WON'T be back for at least two more weeks. She said that her ex took the baby and won't give her back. My first question is Why did he have the baby in the first place? When she got the baby back after the last court deal - the baby's throat was so infected the baby could hardly swallow and had to get her medicine etc. WHAT in the hell is she doing letting him take the baby for a few days before she leaves? I won't say this to David, BUT I WILL BET ANYTHING that she wanted to take a few days to go party and say good-bye to all of her friends and then she couldn't find the loser SOB of a dad and then she was in a tough spot OR she wasn't ready to come back so quick so she told him to take her for however many days and it wasn't when she was due to leave so she makes up the story to cover her arse.
When she called David, she was acting all put out like nobody is willing to help her. David was like WTH are you talking about? Jacob is paying for you to fly back and forth for your kid to deal with a custody issue that SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEALT WITH BEFORE YOU LEFT...but ya didn't so he's now paying $400 to fly you back and David's Aunt is bending over backwards to help her reschedule her flight. All of these people are trying to help and she's mad because she's not getting what SHE WANTS. whatever! She was mad because her boyfriend hadn't reloaded a pre-paid debit card for her to use while she was out in CA but instead sent the money to his mom's house where she's out there. David pointed out that she didn't have an address to mail the money to and that's where she currently is and the poor guy was in the process of setting up direct deposit with this company and took a few days. He LITERALLY just started working with this company. She's mad because her mom doesn't have money to give her or won't give her. Another aunt of hers told her that she wouldn't give her money because she disagreed with her lifestyle. Oh, but you have to know that D's sister called one of their aunts and asked her for money from her will because at their grandmother's funeral the aunt mentioned that she wanted to leave some money to her. So D's sister calls the aunt to tell her that she's in the processing of moving to CO and wanted to see if she would give her the money now that the aunt mentioned leaving to her. When the aunt told her no, D's sister started to argue with her about it. David was like...it's her money...you don't have a right to ask her for it.
I feel like I'm talking about a drug addict. When I try to describe her to my parents, I don't know HOW to explain her b.s. and you have to know that it's all b.s. It's like this selfishness. David wants to help her, but he really doesn't want that crud in our life. He's freaking out. I told David that it's his turn to lose it...I'm calm. What his sister doesn't realize is that if she thinks she's going to come and live off of us she's totally high. If she stays here longer than a week, I'm going to introduce her to Carl Arnold. She hasn't met my family. They will get you employment...my mother and father are the king and queen of nags and helpers. If you're around them for any length of time...oh, you're in for it. You will be going to school and working before you know it. About two blocks from our house is Del Taco, Wal-Mart, Taco Bell and across Powers is Wendy's. I don't care if she has to work three jobs to make it full-time, but she has no excuse about not working. Every time I pull up to Wendy's or Del Taco...there's a new Now Hiring sign. I know the economy sucks, but there's work - even if it's flipping burgers she can get off her ass and go to to work. There's a day care right off of galley that stays open until 6pm and you can get discounts for day care if you're on welfare etc...and you know his sister is on welfare so guess what...between my parents, me and the day care center she'll have PLENTY of babysitters available...so no excuses little girl...get off yer arse and find an f'n job. Plus, she has a vehicle. It sucks, but it runs. Anyway, I'm hoping she leaves soon after arrival, but she was already opening the door about how people keep saying she should just stay with her brother, but she doesn't want to screw that up. David said, he's not saying one word to her. He doesn't want her to think that there's an opening for her to move in.
Ugh, I'm done...two more weeks. We'll see.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
GED
Well, one of my co-workers who handles the transition services for the school forgot to register the kids for the GED test. I wouldn't know it other than the fact the counselors noted it in their meeting notes how the school didn't register them so this other lady had to. It's embarrassing when we drop the ball because they like to send out their notes to EVERYONE. They NEVER GET our emails but the minute we forget something - here's the spotlight to shine on it.
I'm sure Dan will not be happy but we'll see how big a deal the director makes/made over this...in other words; let's see how much of a sh** storm will rain down on on our boss? It may be only a sprinkle but the wording in the meeting notes was obviously snide.
So looking forward for the next two weeks to FLY BY!!
I'm sure Dan will not be happy but we'll see how big a deal the director makes/made over this...in other words; let's see how much of a sh** storm will rain down on on our boss? It may be only a sprinkle but the wording in the meeting notes was obviously snide.
So looking forward for the next two weeks to FLY BY!!
ideas and rantings
Well, tomorrow David's sister flies back into town from CA. I know she's going to have problems...because her vehicle has a flat and David didn't help her fix it. Dad's going to have to pull out his air compressor and blow up the tire so she can get to a tire shop just to get it fixed. That's when she lands. Second, David booked a flight for 2:40 and Anthony's photo thing is at 2:00. I offered to reschedule it and David's like no, she can hang out at the airport. Whatever. I'm sooooooooo tired tonight. I'm fried. I'm hoping she's in a hurry to get out of here. We'll see.
I always wondered if I could be a foster mother. This week has proven that I don't have it in me. I also realize that the boy brings out the worst in my son. Christopher constantly says Bryan's lying. Bryan gets so mad. I'm afraid he's going to punch Christopher, but my son is not that kid. I've never seen my son get like this with his best friend. I think Bryan and his best friend are more even tempered and whatever Kyle likes Bryan likes. This week, I've watched everything Christopher likes - Bryan hates, except when they're getting along then Bryan wants to like what Christopher likes.
I think the thing that's making me want to rip out my hair is the insecurity with Christopher. I could be wrong, but I think he tries to make Bryan feel less and then Christopher can feel superior to him, but Bryan is pretty confident in who he is and has been fighting back. I don't know how to deal with this stuff. I don't have two children close in age.
Tonight at 10:45, Chris comes downstairs to say good-night are f'n kidding me? He was supposed to be in bed at 9:00 so I don't know WHAT he was doing for an hour and a half, but I snapped at him and said what are you doing down here? Get to bed. I already told you goodnight. Ugh. it's that stuff...do I snap at him...what is that? Is he manipulating me? I'm done.
Today in the car they were arguing - trying to suck me into their fight which was happening while Anthony was in his car seat just watching both of them with a grin on his face. I yelled at them both and said if either of you hurt the baby, I will pull the car over and whip you! I'm not kidding, and I'll tell your dad/David and he'll whip you both when he gets home. OH!!!! I'm so tired of the fighting. I've tried to let them fight it out. I've tried letting the consequences of their actions...I'm done. David had a "talk" with them tonight. He's an idiot thinking that he is dealing with sane rational people...which neither of them are.
I'm ready to go back to just Bryan, the baby and me. It'll make this summer go by so much easier. I don't know if we're going to have anyone over after they leave...I just want to go do the things we originally planned. I shouldn't post this. It's sooo negative.
I was going to look for ideas for the fall craft fair but I've lost the desire to be happy. Maybe in July I can be less annoyed.
Say a prayer - cross your fingers that baby is feeling good tomorrow for his first photo shoot. :)
I always wondered if I could be a foster mother. This week has proven that I don't have it in me. I also realize that the boy brings out the worst in my son. Christopher constantly says Bryan's lying. Bryan gets so mad. I'm afraid he's going to punch Christopher, but my son is not that kid. I've never seen my son get like this with his best friend. I think Bryan and his best friend are more even tempered and whatever Kyle likes Bryan likes. This week, I've watched everything Christopher likes - Bryan hates, except when they're getting along then Bryan wants to like what Christopher likes.
I think the thing that's making me want to rip out my hair is the insecurity with Christopher. I could be wrong, but I think he tries to make Bryan feel less and then Christopher can feel superior to him, but Bryan is pretty confident in who he is and has been fighting back. I don't know how to deal with this stuff. I don't have two children close in age.
Tonight at 10:45, Chris comes downstairs to say good-night are f'n kidding me? He was supposed to be in bed at 9:00 so I don't know WHAT he was doing for an hour and a half, but I snapped at him and said what are you doing down here? Get to bed. I already told you goodnight. Ugh. it's that stuff...do I snap at him...what is that? Is he manipulating me? I'm done.
Today in the car they were arguing - trying to suck me into their fight which was happening while Anthony was in his car seat just watching both of them with a grin on his face. I yelled at them both and said if either of you hurt the baby, I will pull the car over and whip you! I'm not kidding, and I'll tell your dad/David and he'll whip you both when he gets home. OH!!!! I'm so tired of the fighting. I've tried to let them fight it out. I've tried letting the consequences of their actions...I'm done. David had a "talk" with them tonight. He's an idiot thinking that he is dealing with sane rational people...which neither of them are.
I'm ready to go back to just Bryan, the baby and me. It'll make this summer go by so much easier. I don't know if we're going to have anyone over after they leave...I just want to go do the things we originally planned. I shouldn't post this. It's sooo negative.
I was going to look for ideas for the fall craft fair but I've lost the desire to be happy. Maybe in July I can be less annoyed.
Say a prayer - cross your fingers that baby is feeling good tomorrow for his first photo shoot. :)
Saturday, June 11, 2011
English Ning
I woke up and realized that I've already dropped the ball on the whole writing everyday, and I realize that life is not going to allow that indulgence in my world. In my head I hear LOSER, but I also know that if I don't get some sleep - I'm gonna lose it and then my face will be plastered all over the evening news...alert: be on the lookout for crazed mother of 2 - teacher @ Spring Creek. Has popped a blood vessel and went on a shooting rampage @ Wal-Mart about an hour ago...she is considered armed and dangerous. I'm exhausted.
I told Jackie that she can keep the whole stay at home thing. I'm going back to work. Check that...I'm running back to work. I need to get away from those beasts especially the six month old.
Tonight, David booked airline tickets for Lisa and Sierra to fly back next week. I already paid for Christopher to take a class with Bryan the following week, but I'll call Jackie and see if Dallin wants to spend the afternoon in some classes at the Station Crossing because I SURE as hell don't care if the kids leave. I DON'T want them to go back to sleeping in their car. Ugh. I know in my head that Lisa is going to be with this guy Jacob and the guy has got a good job working on the natural gas oil fields (rigs?) and she'll be okay, BUT I also know that before they came down here - she and Christopher were sleeping in her FUBAR car. I just hope that she gets something set up when she gets here so they kids have a place to sleep and a roof over their heads. I know David can separate himself from her crap, but I haven't had a lifetime with her shenanigans and so I'm not exactly immune from her manipulation. I can't see kids living in cars. Can't do it.
Kids need a roof over their head and someone strict as hell at home so they have love, boundaries, food, shelter; yet they hate you and move into their own apartment as soon as they're old enough. I'm all for straightening legs and restricting them. I know that I need to let them grow and breathe and discover things on their own. I'm not so good at that part of parenting. Bryan is going to feel lots of pain in his life, and I'd rather him be mad at me than get hurt. That sounds bad, and maybe the Lisa situation is making me over-protective right now. I know he's excited for Christopher to leave that's for darn sure. He's tired of being told what to do by another person in his life.
So, today, I asked Jackie and Jennifer if they want to do another craft fair...what the HELL is wrong with me? I think I'm a glutton for pain. I really am. I need to call Jane and ask her for some OTHER ideas of stuff to make for the fair. She does things perfectly and I can't live up to her standards BUT she makes things that those bitches who go to craft fairs like. I told Jackie we could get together do some canning - Pepper JELLY boo-yah bitches. I'll ask Jackie- but do people like peach jelly? How about peach and pepper jelly? It's summer and I'm craving peaches again. This year, I'm going to buy a boat load of peaches. I might buy two boxes and make peach and pepper jelly? I wonder if you peaches make good jelly? How about apple / pepper jelly? What about strawberry pepper jelly? I'm going to call my mom and ask her. In her day she used to can the hell out of everything.
I told Jackie that she can keep the whole stay at home thing. I'm going back to work. Check that...I'm running back to work. I need to get away from those beasts especially the six month old.
Tonight, David booked airline tickets for Lisa and Sierra to fly back next week. I already paid for Christopher to take a class with Bryan the following week, but I'll call Jackie and see if Dallin wants to spend the afternoon in some classes at the Station Crossing because I SURE as hell don't care if the kids leave. I DON'T want them to go back to sleeping in their car. Ugh. I know in my head that Lisa is going to be with this guy Jacob and the guy has got a good job working on the natural gas oil fields (rigs?) and she'll be okay, BUT I also know that before they came down here - she and Christopher were sleeping in her FUBAR car. I just hope that she gets something set up when she gets here so they kids have a place to sleep and a roof over their heads. I know David can separate himself from her crap, but I haven't had a lifetime with her shenanigans and so I'm not exactly immune from her manipulation. I can't see kids living in cars. Can't do it.
Kids need a roof over their head and someone strict as hell at home so they have love, boundaries, food, shelter; yet they hate you and move into their own apartment as soon as they're old enough. I'm all for straightening legs and restricting them. I know that I need to let them grow and breathe and discover things on their own. I'm not so good at that part of parenting. Bryan is going to feel lots of pain in his life, and I'd rather him be mad at me than get hurt. That sounds bad, and maybe the Lisa situation is making me over-protective right now. I know he's excited for Christopher to leave that's for darn sure. He's tired of being told what to do by another person in his life.
So, today, I asked Jackie and Jennifer if they want to do another craft fair...what the HELL is wrong with me? I think I'm a glutton for pain. I really am. I need to call Jane and ask her for some OTHER ideas of stuff to make for the fair. She does things perfectly and I can't live up to her standards BUT she makes things that those bitches who go to craft fairs like. I told Jackie we could get together do some canning - Pepper JELLY boo-yah bitches. I'll ask Jackie- but do people like peach jelly? How about peach and pepper jelly? It's summer and I'm craving peaches again. This year, I'm going to buy a boat load of peaches. I might buy two boxes and make peach and pepper jelly? I wonder if you peaches make good jelly? How about apple / pepper jelly? What about strawberry pepper jelly? I'm going to call my mom and ask her. In her day she used to can the hell out of everything.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Bradley Cooper
I'm watching the Actor's Studio and they have Bradley Cooper who graduated from that program. He' ridiculously good-looking. It's like some people lead a charmed life. That's the vibe I get from him.
My husband gave me grief last night and questioned the fact that I'm writing on my blog. Little does he know that I've been writing on my blog over a year. It's not something that I share with him. It's like a very public place to write private thoughts. It's like taking off your clothes and leaving open the shades. Are you an exhibitionist when people read your blog or are you just another nondescript human sharing your thoughts with others? Too deep. I used to keep a journal. I wasn't disciplined about writing in it. I think my fingers move too slow for my thoughts. I have the same feeling with typing, but I'm trying this write everyday thing. I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't make it but I don't want to throw in the towel in the first week. Okay, five minutes tonight. Twenty on FB...it averages out.
Good night.
My husband gave me grief last night and questioned the fact that I'm writing on my blog. Little does he know that I've been writing on my blog over a year. It's not something that I share with him. It's like a very public place to write private thoughts. It's like taking off your clothes and leaving open the shades. Are you an exhibitionist when people read your blog or are you just another nondescript human sharing your thoughts with others? Too deep. I used to keep a journal. I wasn't disciplined about writing in it. I think my fingers move too slow for my thoughts. I have the same feeling with typing, but I'm trying this write everyday thing. I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't make it but I don't want to throw in the towel in the first week. Okay, five minutes tonight. Twenty on FB...it averages out.
Good night.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Oscar Mayer!
What a weenie. In my world I'm surrounded by the extremes. Very left-leaning liberals and then EXTREMELY right leaning conservatives. The teachers and friends from college are on the left and my parents and some wackos at work on the right. I tend to lean to the right in my personal views, but I can't begrudge anyone their opinion. It's theirs to have. I don't even have to verbally disagree with them. I'm allowed to sit there and listen without commenting; I could get up and leave; I could argue with them, etc. What a great country that I don't HAVE to agree with one side or whatever side is in power. This has got me to thinking about Congressman Weiner...or is it Wiener? I missed how he spells it. Anyway, the libs to my left are all moaning the fact that guy is a douch-bag and sent pictures of his manhood to women on the twitter/FB or whatever social website he was on at the time. The people on my left are like Ah-Ha! Gotcha - part of that comes from how the media likes to lambaste the right wingers when they do something douche-baggy. It's like spitting up in the sky. Tomorrow it'll be someone from the other side and it'll start all over again.
It's like when they called for the moratorium on hate-speech. I heard some down right awful things being said about Sarah Palin this week. After the congresswoman was ambushed in AZ - we were supposed to tone down the rhetoric. I watched a teacher at work basically FOAM at the mouth with vitriol over her hatred for Sarah Palin. By the way, here's where I am truly a feminist. I didn't agree with everything Hillary Clinton stood for, but I told my mom I think I might have voted for her. I still would. I appreciate how she was trashed by the alpha-male morons who hated her and talked just as horrible things about her as they did Sarah and she proved them wrong. She's a fighter. I didn't like everything about her, but she would have been the first female and that's something I would vote for. The day that happens I will change my belief that the world is a boys' club and women sabotage themselves EVERYTIME.
At my mother's house...be careful if you speak ill against Sarah...you might be asked to leave. I'm tired of the hatred that spews.
I wish I could say that I hadn't heard about the nasty congressman from NY...wish I didn't have to see that these people in positions of power are pretty much scum bags and WE voted for people like that. Yuck. I need a shower.
It's like when they called for the moratorium on hate-speech. I heard some down right awful things being said about Sarah Palin this week. After the congresswoman was ambushed in AZ - we were supposed to tone down the rhetoric. I watched a teacher at work basically FOAM at the mouth with vitriol over her hatred for Sarah Palin. By the way, here's where I am truly a feminist. I didn't agree with everything Hillary Clinton stood for, but I told my mom I think I might have voted for her. I still would. I appreciate how she was trashed by the alpha-male morons who hated her and talked just as horrible things about her as they did Sarah and she proved them wrong. She's a fighter. I didn't like everything about her, but she would have been the first female and that's something I would vote for. The day that happens I will change my belief that the world is a boys' club and women sabotage themselves EVERYTIME.
At my mother's house...be careful if you speak ill against Sarah...you might be asked to leave. I'm tired of the hatred that spews.
I wish I could say that I hadn't heard about the nasty congressman from NY...wish I didn't have to see that these people in positions of power are pretty much scum bags and WE voted for people like that. Yuck. I need a shower.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sister In Laws and the kids
So, David approached me this afternoon and asked me if his nephew Christopher could stay with us while his sister was in California. She's trying to resolve the custody issues with her last born Sierra. I think they slept in the car for the past few nights. Of course the answer is yes. I told David I wanted Christopher here. Lisa is with this guy Brandon. Nice guy. Have absolutely NO idea if they'll make it but he's the latest in a long succession of men. There have been baby daddies. This new guy has a job on the oil rigs in Utah and Colorado? Not sure, but it sounds transient and no life for a woman with three children. Unless, she's getting his checks and living off of him. I hope she's not. We'll see.
Her first child has been raised by this lady, Kim. I saw Destiny when she was a baby before Lisa went to rehab/prison. She had Christopher WHILE she was in rehab/prison. I think it was rehab first incarceration second. It's been 10 years so my memory is fuzzy. David and I had only been married for three or four years when this happened, and I was focused on our lives not the in-laws. Anyway, the third one Sierra wasn't a drug baby or anything like that but this one is a real asshole, and of course Lisa just keeps going on and on about how good he is with his daughter. Forget the fact that he's dealing drugs out of this house he stays at and there's low-lives wandering in and out and ALL hours of the day. Forget the fact, that he tried to RIP THE DOORS OFF OF HER CAR. Yeah, the car is totally FUBAR because it looks like someone tried to RIP THE DOORS OFF THE G-D CAR!!
So, tonight Christopher proudly ANNOUNCED that his father is finally out of prison. Scared the holy hell out of Bryan. Bryan was like what did he do? Is he a bad person? Love my son. Poor guy. It's just so not a world that he's been exposed to or can understand. Partly because his mother works with "bad" kids. At least that's what he hears when he hears jail. Also, he has no idea the difference between jail and prison. Little does my son know that prison in my view is WAY worse than jail. Not that jail is a trifle matter, but someone could go to jail for a night for drinking and driving. When you get to prison you're past that point. Anyway, tonight was eye opening.
Christopher asked if he could get on the Internet. I told him no. I'm not sure I want him going to FB and telling his Dad where he is now. I REALLY DON'T want Dad at our doorstep.
Finally, I yelled at Christopher and Bryan tonight. It's going to be a long few weeks and today was day one. It'll be okay.
Her first child has been raised by this lady, Kim. I saw Destiny when she was a baby before Lisa went to rehab/prison. She had Christopher WHILE she was in rehab/prison. I think it was rehab first incarceration second. It's been 10 years so my memory is fuzzy. David and I had only been married for three or four years when this happened, and I was focused on our lives not the in-laws. Anyway, the third one Sierra wasn't a drug baby or anything like that but this one is a real asshole, and of course Lisa just keeps going on and on about how good he is with his daughter. Forget the fact that he's dealing drugs out of this house he stays at and there's low-lives wandering in and out and ALL hours of the day. Forget the fact, that he tried to RIP THE DOORS OFF OF HER CAR. Yeah, the car is totally FUBAR because it looks like someone tried to RIP THE DOORS OFF THE G-D CAR!!
So, tonight Christopher proudly ANNOUNCED that his father is finally out of prison. Scared the holy hell out of Bryan. Bryan was like what did he do? Is he a bad person? Love my son. Poor guy. It's just so not a world that he's been exposed to or can understand. Partly because his mother works with "bad" kids. At least that's what he hears when he hears jail. Also, he has no idea the difference between jail and prison. Little does my son know that prison in my view is WAY worse than jail. Not that jail is a trifle matter, but someone could go to jail for a night for drinking and driving. When you get to prison you're past that point. Anyway, tonight was eye opening.
Christopher asked if he could get on the Internet. I told him no. I'm not sure I want him going to FB and telling his Dad where he is now. I REALLY DON'T want Dad at our doorstep.
Finally, I yelled at Christopher and Bryan tonight. It's going to be a long few weeks and today was day one. It'll be okay.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Really great seminar
So, I went to this really good seminar presented by Penny Kittle. She challenged us to write everyday this summer. So far, I haven't done it, but tonight as I was perusing FB and looking at emails and thinking about what I learned I remembered this website she said was great for English teachers. It's English Companion.ning.com or something like that. I wrote it down - highlighted it etc. etc. So, I was looking at the site tonight after I was finally approved to enter - you have to apply for admission. Ain't it always the case?
Anyway, she has a blog on there and that got me to thinking about my blog and the challenge. I'm hoping that I make time every day. I'm not sure if I'll make it, but 15 minutes a day to write. The only way to get better is to do it. That's what I tell the kids. I guess I better shut up or put up. Does the 15 minutes count when you spend 7 minutes just looking up your password logins?
Okay, one more little note. On her blog about writing everyday, Penny posted the following (it was one more push to get me going):
I wanted to share this list of writing rules that Don Murray sent me in 2006. As you know, we lost him on Dec. 30 of that year. His rules are the rules of a lifetime writer, and so instructive for all of us following along behind.
MY RULES – TODAY Donald M. Murray
1. nulla dies sine linea – Never a day without a line. Horace 65-8 BC.
To write you have to set up a routine, to promise yourself that you will write. Just state in a loud voice that you will write so many pages a day, or write for so many hours a day. Keep the number of pages or hours within reason, and don't be upset if a day slips by. Start again; pick up the routine.
Don't look for results. Just write, easily,quietly.Janwilliam van de Wetering
2. “Write about what makes you different,” Sandra Cisneros.
3. Lower your standards until you can write.
I believe that the so-called "writing block" is a product of some kind of disproportion between your standards and your performance....one should lower his standards until there is no felt threshold to go over in writing. It's easy to write. You just shouldn't have standards that inhibit you from writing……I can imagine a person beginning to feel he's not able to writeup to that standard he imagines the world has set for him. But to me that's surrealistic. The only standard I can rationally have is I'm meeting right now...You should be more willing to forgive yourself. It doesn't make any difference if you are good or bad today.The assessment of the product is something that happens after you've done it.
William Stafford
4. Write to start writing.
If writing a book is impossible, write a chapter.
If writing a chapter is impossible, write a page.
If writing a page is impossible, write a paragraph.
If writing a paragraph is impossible, write a sentence.
If writing a sentence is impossible, write a word and teach yourself everything there is to know about that word and then write another, connected word and see where the connection leads.
Richard Rhodes
5. Write to discover what you have to say.
I believe that fiction feeds on itself, grows like a pregnancy. The more you write, the more there is to draw from; the more you say, the more there is to say.
The deeper you go into your imagination,the richer that reservoir becomes.
You do not run out of material by using all that's in you; rather,when you take everything that is available one day,it only makes room for new things to appear the next... You don't need to know a whole book in order to write the first page. You don't even need to know the end of the first page. You need only the desire to create something that will say what you feel needs to be said, however vague its format the beginning. You need a willingness to discover the wealth and wisdom of your own subconscious,and to trust that it will tell you what to do an dhow to do it – not all at once, but as needed, step by step.
You have to take a deep breath, let go of your usual control, and then begin walking in the dark.
Elizabeth Berg
6. Write out loud. Hear what you are writing before you see it and revise with your ear. Let your voice instruct.
7. Don’t correct error. Build on what works, extending by layering, writing over what you have written so it deepens, grows stronger, reminds you of what you didn’t know you knew.
8. Writing is a visual art. Write what you see. When you are stuck, begin with description.
When I construct a scene, I don't describe the hundredth part of what I see; I see the characters scratching their noses, walking about, tilting back in their chairs -- even after I've finished writing-- so much so that after a while I feel a weariness which does not derive all that much from my effort of imagination but is more like a visual fatigue: My eyes are tired from watching my characters.
Graham Greene
9. Fail.
Writing is built on instructive failure as you attempt to say what you do not yet know in a way you have never said it before.
Fail.
Fail again.
Fail better.
Samuel Beckett
10. Write fast -- write badly -- so you will write what you don’t yet know you knew -- and so you will outrun the censor within is all.
However much the writer might long to be in his work, simple, honest, straightforward, these virtues are no longer available to him. He discovers that in being simple, honest, straightforward, nothing much happens: he speaks the unspeakable, whereas we are looking for the as-yet-unspeakable, the as-yet-unspoken.Writing is a process of dealing with not-knowing,a forcing of what and how. We have all heard novelists testify to the fact that, beginning a new book, they are utterly baffled as to how to proceed, what should be written and how it might be written, even though they've done a dozen.At best there is a slender intuition, not much greater than an itch.
Donald Barthelme
11. Know tomorrow’s task at the end of the writing morning. Let the subconscious do the writing.
12. Finish. Submit. Many have talent. Some begin; few finish.
The field is left to those of us who have little talent and great stubbornness....it isn't "talent" which is so important to a writer....The most important assets, I believe, are those associated with mules – a kind of stubbornness to get it done, to make it right, to make it better, and grit –not to quit -- and even narrowness of purpose,a euphemism for being almost dumbly dedicated to accomplishing something.
Theodore Weesner
Anyway, she has a blog on there and that got me to thinking about my blog and the challenge. I'm hoping that I make time every day. I'm not sure if I'll make it, but 15 minutes a day to write. The only way to get better is to do it. That's what I tell the kids. I guess I better shut up or put up. Does the 15 minutes count when you spend 7 minutes just looking up your password logins?
Okay, one more little note. On her blog about writing everyday, Penny posted the following (it was one more push to get me going):
I wanted to share this list of writing rules that Don Murray sent me in 2006. As you know, we lost him on Dec. 30 of that year. His rules are the rules of a lifetime writer, and so instructive for all of us following along behind.
MY RULES – TODAY Donald M. Murray
1. nulla dies sine linea – Never a day without a line. Horace 65-8 BC.
To write you have to set up a routine, to promise yourself that you will write. Just state in a loud voice that you will write so many pages a day, or write for so many hours a day. Keep the number of pages or hours within reason, and don't be upset if a day slips by. Start again; pick up the routine.
Don't look for results. Just write, easily,quietly.Janwilliam van de Wetering
2. “Write about what makes you different,” Sandra Cisneros.
3. Lower your standards until you can write.
I believe that the so-called "writing block" is a product of some kind of disproportion between your standards and your performance....one should lower his standards until there is no felt threshold to go over in writing. It's easy to write. You just shouldn't have standards that inhibit you from writing……I can imagine a person beginning to feel he's not able to writeup to that standard he imagines the world has set for him. But to me that's surrealistic. The only standard I can rationally have is I'm meeting right now...You should be more willing to forgive yourself. It doesn't make any difference if you are good or bad today.The assessment of the product is something that happens after you've done it.
William Stafford
4. Write to start writing.
If writing a book is impossible, write a chapter.
If writing a chapter is impossible, write a page.
If writing a page is impossible, write a paragraph.
If writing a paragraph is impossible, write a sentence.
If writing a sentence is impossible, write a word and teach yourself everything there is to know about that word and then write another, connected word and see where the connection leads.
Richard Rhodes
5. Write to discover what you have to say.
I believe that fiction feeds on itself, grows like a pregnancy. The more you write, the more there is to draw from; the more you say, the more there is to say.
The deeper you go into your imagination,the richer that reservoir becomes.
You do not run out of material by using all that's in you; rather,when you take everything that is available one day,it only makes room for new things to appear the next... You don't need to know a whole book in order to write the first page. You don't even need to know the end of the first page. You need only the desire to create something that will say what you feel needs to be said, however vague its format the beginning. You need a willingness to discover the wealth and wisdom of your own subconscious,and to trust that it will tell you what to do an dhow to do it – not all at once, but as needed, step by step.
You have to take a deep breath, let go of your usual control, and then begin walking in the dark.
Elizabeth Berg
6. Write out loud. Hear what you are writing before you see it and revise with your ear. Let your voice instruct.
7. Don’t correct error. Build on what works, extending by layering, writing over what you have written so it deepens, grows stronger, reminds you of what you didn’t know you knew.
8. Writing is a visual art. Write what you see. When you are stuck, begin with description.
When I construct a scene, I don't describe the hundredth part of what I see; I see the characters scratching their noses, walking about, tilting back in their chairs -- even after I've finished writing-- so much so that after a while I feel a weariness which does not derive all that much from my effort of imagination but is more like a visual fatigue: My eyes are tired from watching my characters.
Graham Greene
9. Fail.
Writing is built on instructive failure as you attempt to say what you do not yet know in a way you have never said it before.
Fail.
Fail again.
Fail better.
Samuel Beckett
10. Write fast -- write badly -- so you will write what you don’t yet know you knew -- and so you will outrun the censor within is all.
However much the writer might long to be in his work, simple, honest, straightforward, these virtues are no longer available to him. He discovers that in being simple, honest, straightforward, nothing much happens: he speaks the unspeakable, whereas we are looking for the as-yet-unspeakable, the as-yet-unspoken.Writing is a process of dealing with not-knowing,a forcing of what and how. We have all heard novelists testify to the fact that, beginning a new book, they are utterly baffled as to how to proceed, what should be written and how it might be written, even though they've done a dozen.At best there is a slender intuition, not much greater than an itch.
Donald Barthelme
11. Know tomorrow’s task at the end of the writing morning. Let the subconscious do the writing.
12. Finish. Submit. Many have talent. Some begin; few finish.
The field is left to those of us who have little talent and great stubbornness....it isn't "talent" which is so important to a writer....The most important assets, I believe, are those associated with mules – a kind of stubbornness to get it done, to make it right, to make it better, and grit –not to quit -- and even narrowness of purpose,a euphemism for being almost dumbly dedicated to accomplishing something.
Theodore Weesner
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