ideas and rantings

Well, tomorrow David's sister flies back into town from CA. I know she's going to have problems...because her vehicle has a flat and David didn't help her fix it. Dad's going to have to pull out his air compressor and blow up the tire so she can get to a tire shop just to get it fixed. That's when she lands. Second, David booked a flight for 2:40 and Anthony's photo thing is at 2:00. I offered to reschedule it and David's like no, she can hang out at the airport. Whatever. I'm sooooooooo tired tonight. I'm fried. I'm hoping she's in a hurry to get out of here. We'll see.
I always wondered if I could be a foster mother. This week has proven that I don't have it in me. I also realize that the boy brings out the worst in my son. Christopher constantly says Bryan's lying. Bryan gets so mad. I'm afraid he's going to punch Christopher, but my son is not that kid. I've never seen my son get like this with his best friend. I think Bryan and his best friend are more even tempered and whatever Kyle likes Bryan likes. This week, I've watched everything Christopher likes - Bryan hates, except when they're getting along then Bryan wants to like what Christopher likes.

I think the thing that's making me want to rip out my hair is the insecurity with Christopher. I could be wrong, but I think he tries to make Bryan feel less and then Christopher can feel superior to him, but Bryan is pretty confident in who he is and has been fighting back. I don't know how to deal with this stuff. I don't have two children close in age.

Tonight at 10:45, Chris comes downstairs to say good-night are f'n kidding me? He was supposed to be in bed at 9:00 so I don't know WHAT he was doing for an hour and a half, but I snapped at him and said what are you doing down here? Get to bed. I already told you goodnight. Ugh. it's that stuff...do I snap at him...what is that? Is he manipulating me? I'm done.

Today in the car they were arguing - trying to suck me into their fight which was happening while Anthony was in his car seat just watching both of them with a grin on his face. I yelled at them both and said if either of you hurt the baby, I will pull the car over and whip you! I'm not kidding, and I'll tell your dad/David and he'll whip you both when he gets home. OH!!!! I'm so tired of the fighting. I've tried to let them fight it out. I've tried letting the consequences of their actions...I'm done. David had a "talk" with them tonight. He's an idiot thinking that he is dealing with sane rational people...which neither of them are.
I'm ready to go back to just Bryan, the baby and me. It'll make this summer go by so much easier. I don't know if we're going to have anyone over after they leave...I just want to go do the things we originally planned. I shouldn't post this. It's sooo negative.
I was going to look for ideas for the fall craft fair but I've lost the desire to be happy. Maybe in July I can be less annoyed.

Say a prayer - cross your fingers that baby is feeling good tomorrow for his first photo shoot. :)