English Ning

I woke up and realized that I've already dropped the ball on the whole writing everyday, and I realize that life is not going to allow that indulgence in my world. In my head I hear LOSER, but I also know that if I don't get some sleep - I'm gonna lose it and then my face will be plastered all over the evening news...alert: be on the lookout for crazed mother of 2 - teacher @ Spring Creek. Has popped a blood vessel and went on a shooting rampage @ Wal-Mart about an hour ago...she is considered armed and dangerous. I'm exhausted.
I told Jackie that she can keep the whole stay at home thing. I'm going back to work. Check that...I'm running back to work. I need to get away from those beasts especially the six month old.

Tonight, David booked airline tickets for Lisa and Sierra to fly back next week. I already paid for Christopher to take a class with Bryan the following week, but I'll call Jackie and see if Dallin wants to spend the afternoon in some classes at the Station Crossing because I SURE as hell don't care if the kids leave. I DON'T want them to go back to sleeping in their car. Ugh. I know in my head that Lisa is going to be with this guy Jacob and the guy has got a good job working on the natural gas oil fields (rigs?) and she'll be okay, BUT I also know that before they came down here - she and Christopher were sleeping in her FUBAR car. I just hope that she gets something set up when she gets here so they kids have a place to sleep and a roof over their heads. I know David can separate himself from her crap, but I haven't had a lifetime with her shenanigans and so I'm not exactly immune from her manipulation. I can't see kids living in cars. Can't do it.

Kids need a roof over their head and someone strict as hell at home so they have love, boundaries, food, shelter; yet they hate you and move into their own apartment as soon as they're old enough. I'm all for straightening legs and restricting them. I know that I need to let them grow and breathe and discover things on their own. I'm not so good at that part of parenting. Bryan is going to feel lots of pain in his life, and I'd rather him be mad at me than get hurt. That sounds bad, and maybe the Lisa situation is making me over-protective right now. I know he's excited for Christopher to leave that's for darn sure. He's tired of being told what to do by another person in his life.

So, today, I asked Jackie and Jennifer if they want to do another craft fair...what the HELL is wrong with me? I think I'm a glutton for pain. I really am. I need to call Jane and ask her for some OTHER ideas of stuff to make for the fair. She does things perfectly and I can't live up to her standards BUT she makes things that those bitches who go to craft fairs like. I told Jackie we could get together do some canning - Pepper JELLY boo-yah bitches. I'll ask Jackie- but do people like peach jelly? How about peach and pepper jelly? It's summer and I'm craving peaches again. This year, I'm going to buy a boat load of peaches. I might buy two boxes and make peach and pepper jelly? I wonder if you peaches make good jelly? How about apple / pepper jelly? What about strawberry pepper jelly? I'm going to call my mom and ask her. In her day she used to can the hell out of everything.