Independence Day

This weekend I learned the History of the English Language in 10-:60 second snippets. Boy those french with their beef and venison and pork instead of cow, deer and pig. No matter how much lipstick you put on it...it's still a pig. Anyway, I knew that shpeel but not nearly as concise or pithy. I think I'll show it to the kids...we could analyze the different words that came from that influence and maybe think of some others. Might be fun. Hopefully, we don't get stuck on the Jutes and Angles or the Saxons. Rock on English-ites.

So, today is 4th of July. My sister in law started to tell some of her bullshit about why she didn't want to be with this guy Jacob. I just stood there making a bottle for the baby. I smiled at her and I didn't say one stinkin' word. I was upstairs putting the baby to sleep and to be honest...I prayed about WHAT to say to her. I wanted to yell at her and tell her where to get off, but I sat there looking at my son's baby quilt hanging in his room and I didn't know what I SHOULD say. What I wanted to do and should do were two very different things. Then, this afternoon, I went online and I wrote down EVERY single phone number and address for every shelter I could find. I didn't write down the ones that said no kids or men only...beyond that I wrote it down. I also wrote down the number and address for Peak Vista. Did you know that you can get free medical care and dental care. They schedule surgeries like once a month and I'm sure there's a waiting list but come on IT'S FREE MEDICAL AND DENTAL care. I had to pause when I saw that. My cousin Marci works at Peak Vista she said they're dead this time of year because they're next to a school, most people only bring their children there when school is in session. I think you have to be a resident of that school district (Harrison 2), but I digress. Anyway, David handed her the list of phone numbers and she said she had some lady's phone number in her purse. Later in the evening, I heard her mumbling into the phone. I don't know if she's talking to this guy that she was going to leave or someone else?? Who knows! Who cares. I don't know if she was expecting David to hand her a list of phone numbers and addresses for homeless shelters. I don't know if she really is going to go to a shelter or if she's bluffing. All I know is that I'm tired and I don't want the extra kids running through my house.

I feel like Bryan gets all jealous of anything Christopher gets and now I feel like when Christopher doesn't like what I'm telling him he goes to his mom to get the answer he wants. David told him to go to bed at 8:30 tonight. At 9:00 I shouted for them to brush their teeth and go to bed. Chris argued with me - I yelled BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND GO TO BED. He waited for his mom to come in from smoking...ugh...and she said just do it Christopher. I want to kick this kid in the A** soooooooo baddddddddddddd! Bryan now asks why every time I tell him to do something. He's going to get a kick in the keester and that's fer DA** sure.

Anyway, David said he's not feeling well. Felt sick. Makes me angry. I am NOT going to be left alone to deal with his sister and her kids bullshit. I have to cuss...yes...it's bullshit. I'm not going to do it. I just hope that she decides that this Jacob guy is better than a homeless shelter because I'm done. Oh look, her kids are asleep and she's out smoking at 11 at night. going back and forth-opening/closing the squeaky back door. If she wakes up the kid - I'm kicking her ass, David's ass and her little ones' ass just for good measure.

Her little one was punching her brother because he patted her on the head and she didn't like it. I grabbed her up and told her to say sorry - because we don't hit. I WANT to hit her kids...I didn't say I DID it...anyway, she saw momma - big ol' crocodile tears came out...I picked her up and said - oh no you don't. You're not getting out of this one. I said...say you're sorry and I'll let you down...I got the...huh...huh...(tears, gasps for air, cries for momma)...sooooowwwwrryyyy. Christopher tried to argue with me that he hurt her and it was okay for her to punch him. That little asshole - wants to argue with me no matter. Okay, one more cuss for the night...the little motherfucker. I told him to zip it...this is about her and her behavior. I'm not putting up with her shit. Okay...I gotta quit. I'm gonna have to go to confession for my sailor's mouth!

Anyway, raise your kids to be assholes...I don't care. I don't have to put up with it in my house and I'm not going to put up with it after tomorrow. I need to pray for a cleaner tongue in my head and for the right words to say. I don't want to say something in anger. I need to be clear-headed and do the right thing. I keep wondering...am I supposed to let her into our home. What's the right thing to do here? Am I letting the devil into my heart when I want to say...Lisa, I'm sorry that a shelter sounds like a better option than living with Jacob, but we need you to gather your stuff and leave. Please call us when you have an address or find a shelter. Good luck. Is she betting that we let her stay because of the kids? I don't know if I can take her kids for another week? Is that where I'm failing? Should we let her stay because of the kids. Ugh...I hate it and you know what...I understand Michele, but I want to tell Lisa that she can easily choose Jacob over a shelter and this is her choice.